Read

3 Ways to Help a Friend with a Mental Illness

Published:
February 14, 2024
February 28, 2019
Want to learn how to help a friend with mental illness? Read this therapist's advice.

You’ve noticed a change in your friend. Instead of being their normal bubbly and social self, they’ve become withdrawn and quiet. When you invite them out for your usual coffee run, they uncharacteristically turn you down. They always seem to be lost in thought and preoccupied, instead of being really present.

You’re worried about them. What’s your friend going through?

Or maybe you’ve noticed a change in the way your friend uses alcohol when you go out together. Their drinking has taken on an edge and it seems out of control — they seem to be leaning heavily on alcohol just to get through the week.

This isn’t like them. What’s going on?

Though there could be many reasons, one possibility is that your friend may be experiencing a form of mental illness. Mental illness is a very broad category and can include effects of grief, depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, drug and alcohol dependence, or adjustment disorder.

In the first scenario, your friend may be experiencing anxiety, depression, or another type of mental illness. In the second scenario, your friend may be experiencing a substance use disorder. All of these disorders are very common. In fact, about 18 percent of the population experiences anxiety and around 7 percent of the population experiences depression. Additionally, more than 8 percent of the population struggles with substance dependence or abuse.

If your friend is struggling with a mental illness, here's how can you help them.

Share what you’ve noticed

If your friend is experiencing a mental illness, they are likely feeling very alone in their struggle. By gently bringing up what you’ve noticed, you are offering your friend the opportunity to share the things they’ve been bottling up inside because they’ve been feeling isolated. For example, you could simply say something like, “You don’t seem to be feeling like yourself lately and I’m worried about you. Have you been feeling okay? I’d like to help if I can.”

Approaching the subject in this way lets your friend know that you know something is going on while still giving them space to decide how to share it with you. And it’s a way for you to let them know that they are not alone. That alone can be a huge relief for them.

Take a supportive role

One of the most important things for you to remember is that your friend needs you to take a supportive role. That means being there for them when they need someone to talk to and even just sitting with them in silence if they don’t want to be alone but also don’t feel like talking. Simply being a non-judgmental presence is important.

Your friend likely has a lot of people in the life telling them what they should be doing. What they may not have is someone who is willing to listen to how they’re feeling without judging them. You can be that person.

There are many ways to be supportive. When in doubt, simply ask your friend how you can help, but here are a few other suggestions:

  • Offer to run errands like grocery shopping
  • Help with chores like laundry or cleaning
  • Offer to help cook dinner
  • Invite them for a walk
  • Bring them their favorite coffee or tea for a quick chat
  • Ask them how they are doing from time to time
  • Give them space if they need time to be alone
  • Offer to drive them to appointments
  • Send them a supportive note
Encourage professional support

If your friend is struggling with a mental illness, they can find help. They don’t have to struggle with living with their symptoms on their own. A mental health professional can help your friend learn to manage their symptoms and treat their mental disorder using research-supported treatment methods.

Choosing to take a supportive role also means encouraging your friend to seek professional help. Because of the stigma surrounding mental illness, your friend may be too embarrassed to contact a therapist or unsure of what might happen if they do. By gently encouraging them to seek professional treatment, you can help them move past the stigma around mental illness so that they can find relief from their symptoms.

While it might be tempting to be frustrated by your friend’s behavior or feel intimidated by the task of taking a supportive role, remember that your friend is still themselves — they’re just struggling with an illness. Just as you wouldn’t think twice to help a friend with a broken leg and crutches, you can do the same here. Your friend is struggling with an illness — it might be harder to see at times, but it is still an illness.

When in doubt, never be afraid to ask your friend what they need and how you can help.

Creators:
Julia Hogan-Werner
Published:
February 14, 2024
February 28, 2019
On a related note...
"Misnomers"

"Misnomers"

Marjorie Maddox

The Journaling Exercise that Boosted My Creativity

The Journaling Exercise that Boosted My Creativity

Hunter Cates

The Courage to Say Hello

The Courage to Say Hello

Chuck Fry

The Playlist that Turned My Life Around

The Playlist that Turned My Life Around

Brandy Norton

7 Ways to Stay Professional as You Dump a Toxic Job

7 Ways to Stay Professional as You Dump a Toxic Job

Emily Bouch

5 Fresh Summer Date Ideas for You and Your S.O.

5 Fresh Summer Date Ideas for You and Your S.O.

Lauren Lawson

Add These Books to Your Morning for an Inspiring Start

Add These Books to Your Morning for an Inspiring Start

Maureen O’Brien

4 Ways to Overcome Homesickness

4 Ways to Overcome Homesickness

Victoria Rabuse

5 Tips For Loving a Partner Who’s the Opposite of You

5 Tips For Loving a Partner Who’s the Opposite of You

Claire Collins

4 Ways to Stop Anxious Thinking Before It Takes Over

4 Ways to Stop Anxious Thinking Before It Takes Over

Lillian Fallon

Wives Reveal How They Knew He Was ‘The One’

Wives Reveal How They Knew He Was ‘The One’

Lillian Fallon

The Magic of Mythical Storytelling

The Magic of Mythical Storytelling

Jacqueline Rose

“Can You Pick Me Up?”

“Can You Pick Me Up?”

Grotto

After graduation, John O'Connor made the bold decision to move out to Colorado to work on a farm.

What No One Told Me About Starting my PhD

What No One Told Me About Starting my PhD

Hallie Michelle

What the First Year of Marriage is Really Like

What the First Year of Marriage is Really Like

Krista Steele

Hands-on Hobbies Got Me Out of the House — and Into a Community

Hands-on Hobbies Got Me Out of the House — and Into a Community

Clarissa Aljentera

4 Ways I Reclaim Control of a Crazy Busy Week

4 Ways I Reclaim Control of a Crazy Busy Week

Emily Mae Mentock

What You Need to Know about Seasonal Depression

What You Need to Know about Seasonal Depression

Julia Hogan-Werner

What I Learned About Dating After Getting Sober

What I Learned About Dating After Getting Sober

Paul Campbell, Erica Tighe Campbell

How Humor Can Help You Learn

How Humor Can Help You Learn

Jacqueline Rose

newsletter

We’d love to be pals.

Sign up for our newsletter, and we’ll meet you in your inbox each week.