Read

What to Know About Your Personality Before You Get Married

Creator:
Published:
November 28, 2023
November 1, 2017
Woman researching what to know before getting married while drinking coffee in a cafe.|Book cover of "The 5 Languages of Apology" by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas.|Book cover of "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.|Book cover of "The 5 Money Personalities" by Scott and Bethany Palmer.|Book cover of "Gifts Differing" by Isabel Briggs Myers with Peter B. Myers.

A lot of people think about discerning marriage in terms of getting to know the other person — but what about getting to know yourself? It’s really important to be confident in who you are before you make the decision to spend the rest of your life with someone else. Your personality has countless aspects to it, but some are more identifiable and affect your relationships more than others. Here are some things you don’t want left unknown by the time you tie the knot (and you should probably know about your partner, too).

5 Love Languages
Book cover of "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.

Which means more to you: your S.O. doing the dishes or giving you a massage? Writing you a note or listening to how your day was?

Happy marriage genius Dr. Gary Chapman discovered some decades ago that there are five main ways people communicate love: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.

Even more interesting is how rare it is that partners share the same love language — and that can translate to a lot of communication problems. The best thing you can do is learn your own and your partner’s so that you know the best way to make them feel loved.

Recommended reading: The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

Apology Language
Book cover of "The 5 Languages of Apology" by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas.

No relationship is perfect — even the most loving couple will have to apologize to each other for hurtful mistakes. A successful relationship isn’t defined by how much you stick together “for better,” but often how you are able to make up and bounce back from “for worse.”

A good apology is essential to helping things get back to normal. Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, also wrote about the five ways to apologize. Your apology language is often completely different from your love language, but it holds that couples rarely share the same one (opposites attract, right?).

Before you head down the road to happily ever after, be sure to learn the best way to let your spouse know you’re sorry.

Recommended reading: The 5 Languages of Apology: How to Experience Healing in All Your Relationships

Money Personality
Book cover of "The 5 Money Personalities" by Scott and Bethany Palmer.

One of the most common sources of conflict in marriage is money — how to spend it and how to save it. Tough talks about finances are inevitable in a relationship, but you can get in front of your differences by identifying the unique ways you and your partner handle money.

If you’re a saver and your S.O. is a risk taker, you’re bound to run into some disagreements. Instead of letting these differences wear down your relationship like they have for so many couples, learn and grow together as a financial team by respecting the other’s money personality.

Recommended reading: The 5 Money Personalities: Speaking the Same Love and Money Language

Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
Book cover of "Gifts Differing" by Isabel Briggs Myers with Peter B. Myers.

Most people have heard of the Myers-Briggs personality test — you’re likely able at the very least to identify yourself as an introvert or extrovert. But do you know your full personality type?

Understanding your partner’s personality type can give you incredible insights into what makes them tick — from how they handle stress to how much they like to go out. Many pre-marital counselors use MBTI to help establish a non-judgmental ground from which couples can discuss differences and disagreements.

Learning your MBTI is invaluable to a successful relationship. As Carl Jung put it, “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” You’ll learn to embrace unique personality traits — in both you and your partner — as strengths, not weaknesses.

Recommended reading: Gifts Differing: Understanding Personality Type

Creators:
Grotto
Published:
November 28, 2023
November 1, 2017
On a related note...
7 Dating Tips for People with Anxiety

7 Dating Tips for People with Anxiety

Emily Bouch

How Your Attachment Style Impacts Your Relationships

How Your Attachment Style Impacts Your Relationships

Julia Hogan-Werner

To All Fatherless Daughters on Father's Day

To All Fatherless Daughters on Father's Day

Sarah Yaklic

Why I Changed the Way I Say Hello

Why I Changed the Way I Say Hello

Mariah Cressy

My Christmas Eve "Confession"

My Christmas Eve "Confession"

Liz Colleran

The Secret Behind ‘Cringe’ Dad Jokes

The Secret Behind ‘Cringe’ Dad Jokes

Matt Dinan

AGLO is Answering the Call to Love

AGLO is Answering the Call to Love

Grotto

6 Signs You Might Be an Introverted Extrovert

6 Signs You Might Be an Introverted Extrovert

Patricia Valderrama

What to Look for (and Run from) in a Future Spouse

What to Look for (and Run from) in a Future Spouse

Isaac Huss

5 Date Night Ideas To Try Out This Fall

5 Date Night Ideas To Try Out This Fall

Lauren Lawson

How to Build Social Connections Outside of Work

How to Build Social Connections Outside of Work

Emily Mae Mentock

3 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married

3 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married

Emily Mae Mentock

How to Dump Someone (Nicely)

How to Dump Someone (Nicely)

Dan Masterton

4 Creative Ways to Stay in Touch with Friends Post-College

4 Creative Ways to Stay in Touch with Friends Post-College

Mariah Cressy

Grief Can Make the Holidays Beautiful if We Let It

Grief Can Make the Holidays Beautiful if We Let It

Genevieve Nield

Father’s Day Spotify Playlist | #GrottoMusic

Father’s Day Spotify Playlist | #GrottoMusic

Grotto

"How To Stay Friends With an Ex"

"How To Stay Friends With an Ex"

Sophie Caldecott

Little Wish Foundation Brings Joy To Kids with Cancer

Little Wish Foundation Brings Joy To Kids with Cancer

Grotto

Mother’s Day Spotify Playlist | #GrottoMusic

Mother’s Day Spotify Playlist | #GrottoMusic

Grotto

My Grandmother was Many Things, but Sane Wasn’t One of Them

My Grandmother was Many Things, but Sane Wasn’t One of Them

Stephen G. Adubato

newsletter

We’d sure love to be pals.

Like what you see? Make it easy on yourself and we’ll meet you right in your inbox next time.