Desperately seeking some guidance
In my perfect, imagined worldI've come with an instruction manual.And none of the pieces are missing.In this perfect worldGod has thrown down a rock from Heavenwith step by step instructions.Think the 10 Commandments,but “me” edition.In my imagined worldmy soul leaps, strides, glideswith purpose. It doesn't question:What does God want from me?It doesn't despair of a life of insignificance.In this perfect, perfect worldmy whole soul and bodyand lump of brain, the tinglingin my skin under the sun,Know, knowthat You gently place each of uswhere we belong.Here, my soul knows thatYou are the ultimate matchmaker.You can find any missing or straysock and bring it back to its pair.You know our favorite colorand our last word even before we do.And You are guarding it all.But in this perfect world, too,Your ways are not a mystery to me.Not like here, where I'm lookingthrough a dark glass.I'm so impatient to seethe way in front of me.Despite knowingthat You have perfect timingI can't help but cryout, “Give me a sign!”And in my real world,I'm tripping in the dark of the future.And constantly losing the battlebetween stepping forward with Youand feeling a need to crumple where I stand.This free will thing is hard,for both of us.But then, I feel the surpriseof a coincidence: a momentwhere the right person callsor a reading in church clarifies it all,and I know that You are thereand out of each of my failings Youare repairing and restoring the wreckage.To lose faith is to doubt Your power,but I wouldn't mindbeing hit with a bit of thunderif I do happen to take a wrong step.
