Dear Therapist: My Husband Can’t Find a Job, and I’m Anxious About Money

Dear Therapist,

My husband has decided to leave his current career because it is unfulfilling, stressful, and in general the industry doesn’t treat its employees well. I am very supportive of this, and it has presented the opportunity for us to move closer to family. However, he has been applying for jobs for months, and hasn’t even gotten an interview. We are now approaching his last day at his current job, and I am stressing about potentially being the sole income earner for a while. I know he is feeling guilty and stressed about this. How can I best support him in this transition and difficult job search while also managing my own anxiety? 

— Anxious Spouse

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Dear Anxious Spouse,

Thank you for sharing your concerns about your husband's career transition and the stress it's causing both of you. I want you to know that you are approaching this challenge with the perfect mindset, one of support and teamwork.

Communication will be key during this transition. I would recommend asking your husband what he needs and being attentive to his cues. If he doesn’t easily open up about his feelings, I’m sure you know him well and can guess what would help him relax and destress, like praying together, regular exercise, physical affection, or socializing with good friends.

It’s equally important for you to communicate your needs and I hope you feel justified in doing so. In as much as he has extra time, consider asking him to help with duties that you normally handle but that are more likely to emotionally tax you. 

While you work on communication, remember to manage your own anxiety. You could schedule regular check-ins with each other, perhaps every other week, so you can connect without the pressure to fix anything. It might also help to establish an open-door policy to share with one another anytime you are feeling overwhelmed.

One helpful way to address your anxiety is to practice gratitude. Can you give thanks to God for the strength of your relationship, your health, the temporary nature of this situation, or that you have a supportive family? Expressing appreciation for your husband’s efforts can also strengthen your bond during this challenging time. 

Given the uncertainty of the job search, it's natural to feel anxious about the financial aspect. Just remember that when this is done, you will have some interesting stories to tell your kids and meaningful experiences to share with others. You are going to be the go-to couple for advice because you'll have earned your stripes (even if not by design). This transition is a shared journey, and facing it together while trusting in God’s providence will strengthen your relationship. Keep prioritizing open communication, mutual support, and gratitude, and you'll navigate this period with resilience.

— Regina Boyd, LMHC