Read

Watch

4 Surprising Life Lessons I Learned at a Monastery

Published:
November 28, 2023
April 18, 2021
Visiting Abbey of Gethsemani taught this author many surprising life lessons — read more here.|Visiting Abbey of Gethsemani taught this author many surprising life lessons — read more here.

When I was in college, I was part of a group that twice traveled to the Abbey of Gethsemani to spend a weekend-long retreat with the monks who make their lives there. It was something of a dissonant connection when our bus full of boisterous young adults descended on the peace and order of this highly regulated religious community.

We were well-prepared for what we’d experience there, and we were expected to maintain some semblance of the silence that the monastery treasured. We would have our own retreat talks and community time, and we would participate in praying daily prayer with the monks, joining them in the simplicity and rhythms of their lives.

These rhythms gave a certain amount of predictability to these visits; on one level, I very much knew what to expect. But there were still a number of surprises in store. Monks were not, as it turned out, as distant and unrelatable as I thought.

Community

I had envisioned monks as solitary; their emphasis on silence and on relationship with God seemed to preclude meaningful relationships with others. There was certainly a contrast between the energy of our youthful socialization and the quieter ways the monks cared for each other, but deep friendship wound through the hearts of both communities. Love was being lived out in different ways, but it was the same love.

I was touched to see younger monks taking care of older ones, guiding them to their place at prayer and helping those whose vision was fading find their place in the liturgical books. Needs were met; someone was always there to step up. This was a reminder I’d need later in life as the contours of friendship changed. As distances grew, obligations increased, and availability diminished, friendship started to look different. But I know now that friendship doesn’t always look the same, and that makes it no less real.

Hospitality

Okay, so these monk guys are tight with the people with whom they share a lot in common. Fair enough. But my image of a monastery was still a place of seclusion. Its very purpose was to draw its residents away from the outside world, offering them protection and peace that is inaccessible in secular life.

But monks also commit to radical hospitality. The Rule of St. Benedict — the ancient document that guides many monasteries even today — commands that monks “treat every guest like Christ.” Their rhythms of prayer and work are important, but the disruptions that guests provide are seen as an opportunity to encounter Jesus and to grow in holiness.

We were certainly a disruption to the monks’ usual way of being in the world. But they treated us with nothing but kindness, tending to us with care and anticipating our needs with attention to detail. To them, the disruption was worth it; as someone who struggles with interruptions, it helps me to remember this approach.

Joy

Monks live a very disciplined way of life; on the surface it may appear to be strict or rigid. But these rules are freely chosen and rightly enforced, and they actually provide a measure of freedom. They take away distractions and enable community members to strive to become their best selves. And the joy with which they live this life is hard to miss.

It’s a quieter, restrained joy — again contrasting with the noisy exuberance we imported on our bus — but its authenticity is evident. I especially saw this in the singing that carries their daily prayer. It is simple song, led by the human voice, sometimes accompanied softly by organ. It is not the trumpets and cymbals we usually associate with joy. But the joy is still there, and it invites participation from those who visit.

There’s something here for all of us

Perhaps most surprising of all was the idea that monastery living wasn’t something completely separate from the life I was living as a student. Their way of life may seem foreign, but monks aren’t some alien race that’s meant to be separate from all of us. They live an unusually intense and hyper-concentrated version of Christian life, but we’re all called to the same holiness, and the basic principles of monastery life hold lessons for us all.

 

 

Creators:
Jessica Mannen Kimmet
Published:
November 28, 2023
April 18, 2021
On a related note...
I Ditched Social Media — Here's What Brought Me Back

I Ditched Social Media — Here's What Brought Me Back

Lillian Fallon

4 Mistakes We Make About Those with Down Syndrome

4 Mistakes We Make About Those with Down Syndrome

Kathryn O'Callaghan

5 Hashtags to Cultivate Beauty in Your Feed

5 Hashtags to Cultivate Beauty in Your Feed

Gabriella Patti

A Tiny Lesson on Living Simply

A Tiny Lesson on Living Simply

Jessica Mannen Kimmet

What My Mentors Taught Me About God

What My Mentors Taught Me About God

Gabriella Patti

Taking 10,000 Steps Just to Get to School

Taking 10,000 Steps Just to Get to School

Martha Reilly

Why Gardening Should Be Your New Hobby

Why Gardening Should Be Your New Hobby

Caitlan Rangel

How Welcoming Interruption Can Impact Your Life

How Welcoming Interruption Can Impact Your Life

Jessica Mannen Kimmet

Fall Into Fall With These 4 New Songs

Fall Into Fall With These 4 New Songs

Tanner Kalina

The Quick Guide to Making Friends as an Adult

The Quick Guide to Making Friends as an Adult

Emily Mae Mentock

"Orchids"

"Orchids"

Barbara Lisette

How to Rock Your New Godparenting Gig

How to Rock Your New Godparenting Gig

Jessica Mannen Kimmet

Our Lady of Lourdes Spotify Playlist | #GrottoMusic

Our Lady of Lourdes Spotify Playlist | #GrottoMusic

Grotto

Mother’s Day Spotify Playlist | #GrottoMusic

Mother’s Day Spotify Playlist | #GrottoMusic

Grotto

This Twitter Feed is the Most Peaceful Place on the Internet

This Twitter Feed is the Most Peaceful Place on the Internet

Mike Jordan Laskey

What Makes the BIG EAST Special

What Makes the BIG EAST Special

Grotto

4 Tips for Staying Joyful in a World that Glorifies Stress

4 Tips for Staying Joyful in a World that Glorifies Stress

Molly Gettinger

One Way to Bring Imaginative Prayer to Life

One Way to Bring Imaginative Prayer to Life

Amanda Roberts

Voices of Synod 2018 | Christina DiSalvo

Voices of Synod 2018 | Christina DiSalvo

Grotto

What Volunteering as a Refugee Mentor Taught Me

What Volunteering as a Refugee Mentor Taught Me

Grotto

newsletter

We’d sure love to be pals.

Like what you see? Make it easy on yourself and we’ll meet you right in your inbox next time.